Being committed means re-committing

"'I'm sorry,' said often, easily, and without tears, is a sure sign that we will do the same thing again soon..." K Bradford Brown, Guidelines to Relationships

"Failing, and coming back again,
Failing, and coming back again,
Failing, and coming back again.

This is the rhythm of creation, of being made free to love." K. Bradford Brown, Guidelines to Spirituality

By now, you may have missed the mark on some plans for your new year changes. Instead of just shrugging it off, giving up or beating yourself up, try re-committing. Re-committing means giving your word anew about what you will and will not do. It implies a course-correction.

Practice: This week, when you recommit, instead of beating yourself up for the miss, make plans for how you will keep your word this time and be "made free to love" again.

Want to be more loving?

Want to be more loving? Handle your resentment.

"Forgiveness is love's teacher. It severs the grip of ill will and clears the way for loving again." K. Bradford Brown

Practice: Spend some quiet time identifying people in your life that you are holding some ill will against. The big, unresolved ones may be easy to identify, but don't stop there. Look carefully to see where your mind is stacking up small annoyances to build a wall of resentment.

Once the list is made, make a commitment to yourself to use the Cost Process to clear up those resentments one by one.

Resolutions and Intentions

Whether or not we make formal New Year's resolutions, most of us expect ourselves to have fresh hopes and intentions of some sort as the new year rolls in. If you aren't aware of yours yet, take a moment to discover what your mind is expecting of you in 2011. This will get you going:

I really ought to ____ this year.
It's time to ______!
I have to stop/quit/give up _________ or else ___________.

Notice what happens to your energy and emotions as you fill in those blanks. Listen to what your mind is telling you and the tone of those messages. You may want to jot some of your mindtalk down and verify it.

Now try a different approach.

I want to be _________ this year.
I want to create _________.
I want to serve ___________.
I want ____________.
It would give me great joy to _________.

Now follow each statement with "because".

I want to be ______ this year because...

Notice what happens to your energy. What do you feel as you embrace what you really want to create?

Now you are ready for resolutions. You can use the Results Process to map out what you intend to create, why it matters to you, the steps you commit to take, and the support that you will put in place. Not familiar with the Results Process or need a refresher? Here are the steps.

Result: State the result you want to create, making sure it is SMART (specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and timed, as in when you intend to have it done).
Intention: With your eyes closed, and breathing deeply, describe your intentions for creating this result. You want it because...
Visualize: Picture yourself creating and having the result. Use your imagination to make it as real to you as you can.
Actions: What actions will you take? Make a list of steps with due dates.
Support: Who will support you and how? Don't leave this crucial component out!

Happy New Year! Happy new being and creating!

Celebration or Obligation?

"Drudgery is a state of mind, not the task we refuse to enjoy." K. Bradford Brown

Funny how our minds can turn something like a month-long celebration into an endless to-do list, one stress-filled obligation after another. What is your mind telling you about the things you have agreed to do? Which of those things are you doing out of sheer obligation?

Wake up! You can choose what to do and how to be - even during the holidays.

Practice: See what happens when you challenge your mindtalk and simply choose to enjoy something!

Coming alive

"There are no extraordinary moments. Only moments when we come to life...or don't." K. Bradford Brown

At any moment, when you recognize that you have had a lifeshock, you have a choice. You can remember who you are and come to life, or lose your Self in your reaction.

If you want to come to life, the first step is to notice. What are your cues that you are caught up in your reactions?

Hint: notice physical and emotional cues, notice your behavior, listen to your tone of voice, pay attention to what you are thinking and speaking.

Practice coming alive!

Possibilities? Really?

"Resistance is when I am simply unwilling to experience the possibility before me." K. Bradford Brown

The alarm rings, but it's cold outside the covers.
You are asked to take on a new assignment, but you're comfortable doing what you're already doing.
Someone asks you to serve at an especially busy time.
The same kind of stories keep showing up in the news.
The phone rings - again!

And something inside you says, "NO!"
"I can't!"
"I won't."
"I shouldn't."
"I don't have a choice."

Not many options appear through those filters. It's either cave in to something you don't really want, or fight it. Not much choice, but lots of reaction.

What's really true, though? Dealing with your resistance opens up new possibilities for creative choices or for simply being happy.

Practice: Notice what resistance feels like in your body. When your resistance is high, ask yourself what possibility you are missing.

Ready to Learn?

The Mastery Connections blog is back! Each post will give you something to think about and something to practice to develop your ability to live masterfully. The next several posts will use some of the Marks of Mastery from the Practice of Processing course.

By the way, if you live in the Knoxville area, make plans to be in the Mastery class that starts on Tuesday, November 23 with Sharon Hoover and Ed Groody teaching.

Now, on with the main course of this post!

What does living masterfully look like?

Readiness to process lifeshocks and learn from them.

"Sometimes life looks like a maze with no exits. The maze is in my head. And there is always a way out." K. Bradford Brown

Practice: The way out begins with noticing that you are caught up in your reaction to a lifeshock (or a series of them!). What is your stand toward your lifeshocks? Are you standing ready to learn from them?

When you notice your reactions, practice identifying the lifeshock.

What happened that you reacted to?
What did you see..hear...smell...taste? What did you touch or what touched you?